Dear Believers: The reward of deprivation

When you're feeling as though Allah has given you nothing

Dear Family of Believers,

Have you ever deprived yourself of something for years because it just wasn’t the appropriate time? Something Halal for you, maybe even something that the religion encourages you to do, but you deprived yourself, again and again, because maybe your teachers, your parents, your spouse, your better judgment all told you that while this thing is great, beautiful, important…

It just isn't the time for it.

I did that for years, consistently at the behest of some of my teachers. I prioritized other things over it and eventually put it completely out of my mind until it was no longer a priority at all.

You may be thinking, “How long do I have to deprive myself of something I deserve, something I wish to have?”

Until Allah decrees that you have it.

It’s that simple.

Because for years, I deprived myself, and now Allah has given it to me tenfold.

It’s funny how much we chase after things and Allah never gives them to us, and then the moment we realize that Allah is in control, we get something even better.

That's what trust is all about, isn't it?

It’s about understanding that we desperately need to take a step back and allow Allah to do what He wishes without our backseat driver commentary, always determining that Allah isn't doing what He's supposed to because He's not doing what we want Him to do.

That's not trust.

It's fear.

A fear that Allah doesn’t know what He’s doing and that He won't do what we think is best.

May Allah forgive us for such evil thoughts.

But then, who are you to determine what is best for yourself? Do you know yourself better than Allah? You don't. He created everything about you, your forefathers, and your progeny. He knows every minute detail that even you don't know, the unseen diseases and cures within your every cell.

The unseen is known only to Him and to those whom He gives sight. So while you are depriving yourself, know that you are doing it for a noble reason, and Allah will compensate you. But maybe it's not intentional; maybe you have absolutely no choice but to be deprived. Maybe it's not in your hands, like a homeless person who has no choice but to live on the streets because they don't have the means to pay for a place to lay their head.

It's not fair, is it?

Why does that other person get everything you've ever wanted?

The nice house,

The beautiful children,

The perfect spouse,

The money.

Shoot, they even seemingly have a beautiful relationship with Allah.

They have it all.

Yet, here I am, crying myself to sleep every night. Angry, upset, and frustrated with everything Allah has given me.

I’ve not been given enough. I’m broken, tired, and fed up. I’ve had enough.

Why couldn’t Allah have just given me their life? That would have been fair, right?

That's when it becomes important to be grateful, and to have trust. Gratitude is probably one of the single most important attributes to have in this life.

Why should Allah punish you if you are grateful and faithful? Allah is ever Appreciative, All-Knowing.

4:147

Is it not enough to know that the punishment of Allah will not befall a person who has gratitude?

A person who can look at their every second, minute, hour, and day, who can look back on their life and forward to the future and display gratitude.

What is trust in Allah if not gratitude in His decisions for you?

What is gratitude if not a realization that what you deprived yourself of was for His sake and will inevitably be returned to you in so many beautiful ways?

What is gratitude except a realization that He only withheld from you what would take you away from Him?

I deprived myself for years, and now I am being gifted in ways I never could have imagined.

My heart was heavy when I began writing these words to you, and now I’m reminded…

Gratitude was what I lost before I began writing this, and it’s what I’ve found in these closing lines.

I pray you find it as well.

Your servant, Naseer